Charity Work Can Be Difficult: Don’t Give Up

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It was a normal day at “after school club” when the old van crept slowly into the church parking lot and came to a stop. Four excited children jumped out, along with Ashley, their tired young mother. It was a “coming home” of sorts, driven by a recent bout of homelessness, to a place Ashley attended when she was a little girl. Something told her if she returned to “the golfball church” (i.e., it had a geodesic, dome-shaped roof), she could get help — and her children could gain a sense of hopefulness from a place nestled in her past. 

After the club director greeted her, she introduced Ashley to a pastor Ashley remembered from her childhood! The pastor connected her with a case manager at InnerMission, who helped her with hyper-relational case management, skills development, and temporary housing.

For a season, things began to stabilize. Seeds of hope were taking root.

Unfortunately, that hopefulness hasn’t yet formed deep roots. Ashley experienced a pretty significant setback, and today her future remains uncertain.

If you’ve ever journeyed alongside someone in need, this story is likely far too familiar. It’s discouraging, and quite frankly, it hurts. 

Does Ashley’s lapse mean the method used to help was wrong? Should InnerMission have simply provided Ashley with a food box and a week in a hotel, no questions asked? 

Though it’s often easier (and hurts less) to serve as many people as possible as quickly as possible, doing so often leads to a missed opportunity to truly know and develop someone. We can easily misdiagnose the root problem — and may even harm them by perpetuating their situation. 

Let’s look at what’s possible …

Jocelyn is a great example. In her own words, she used to be “a 38-year meth addict, a criminal … homeless most of my adult life. I raised my son on the streets and was a generational welfare recipient.” 

Yet, after being sentenced to 400 hours of community service, she encountered individuals like Marsha Whitford, co-founder of Watered Gardens. Marsha saw her as a unique individual made in God’s image with capacity for today and a great hope for tomorrow, and – despite her lapses — refused to give up on her. 

In other words, Jocelyn experienced what happens when caring, committed people invest in lifting up those in need. She now serves as the Shelter Manager at Watered Gardens in Joplin, Missouri, doing for others what Marsha did for her.

So, where do you start if you want to go deeper in the lives of individuals like Ashley and Jocelyn? 

• If you’re a neighbor, mentor, or volunteer, build a friendship with someone of a different socio-economic class. Invite them to coffee. Offer a ride to work. Teach a skill you have. This online course, Beyond Volunteering, can help you build a truly transformative relationship. 
• If you’re a donor, fund effective, dignity-driven charity. Before you give, ask: “Does this organization measure transformation or just transactions?” This resource, The Giving Guide, can equip you with seven questions to ask as you consider where to steward your resources. 
• If you’re a practitioner, shift your programming to empower and build relationships with those you serve. Visit our program summary videos for a high-level overview of those models. Or, use the Case Management Model Action Plan to build a relational program, similar to what Ashley and Jocelyn experienced. 

At the end of the day, this is a movement fueled by individuals, churches, nonprofits, and donors all playing their part. In other words, it’s your movement, and it’s one that takes tenacity. This is a marathon, not a sprint. 

Finally, if you’re walking with someone like Ashley today, consider the words of True Charity Ambassador, Debbie Wells:

“In my not-so-distant past, I struggled with the false belief that I needed to rescue those around me who were hurting — if I didn’t, who else would? That feels silly to even type out and see in print, but it was a very real false belief I carried for years. I don’t think that’s too uncommon for those of us in compassion-related ministries. But there is no better way for the enemy to weigh us down and keep us from thriving than to fool us into picking up heavy burdens we weren’t designed to carry. Success = Faithfulness.” 

So don’t give up. Despite some Ashley-like setbacks, your tenacity and commitment to genuine compassion expressed through real relationships will pay off. And remember: Ashley’s story may not be over. She could have a true change of heart — and if she does, she’ll find the same committed group of people at InnerMission ready to help her continue down the road to flourishing.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

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